Parenting News You Can Use! July 25, 2012

Parenting News You Can Use!
July 25, 2012
Volume 6, Issue 30
Publisher: INCAF
E-Mail: docdebfry@earthlink.net
www.deborah-fry.com or www.incaf.com
A Certified Redirecting Children’s Behavior ™ Company

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IN THIS ISSUE:
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1. Redirecting Children’s Behavior Course Schedule for Fall 2012 (see home page)
2. Ten Things to Do Instead of Grounding Your Kids
3. Assisting Your Tween in Handling the Loss of a BFF
4. How to Forgive When You Really Don’t Want To
5. Inspiration for Summer Reading
6. Cooperation or Competition
7. Five Food Suggestions for Keeping Kids at the Table
8. Sumer Reading Ideas
9. Lessons from an 8th Grade Trip
10. Inspirational Quote of the Week

2. Ten Things to Do Instead of Grounding Your Kids
Grounding your child, removing privileges, punishing with extra chores – all of these approaches are meant to “teach a lesson.” But research shows that kids get preoccupied with the unfairness of the punishment, instead of feeling remorse for what they did wrong. The lesson you want to teach, I assume, is that your child can make a better choice next time. You also want to teach that everyone makes mistakes, and your child has the power and courage to make amends. You want him to practice that. Right? Here’s how.
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3. Assisting Your Tween in Handling the Loss of a BFF
Dr. Michael Bradley says, “A best friend plays a huge role developmentally because through it, kids begin to learn about sophisticated concepts like trust, loyalty, empathy, compassion, and tolerance.” Read more on how you can assist when your tween loses her best friend.
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4. How to Forgive When You Really Don’t Want To
Kate Swoboda, author of The Courageous Living Guide, explores the roots of forgiveness and says, “It is not the circumstances of our lives that matter. It is what we choose to do with them.” She provides steps to forgiveness and a big secret that just might shift everything for you.
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5. Inspiration for Summer Reading
Amanda Morgan of Not Just Cute has terrific ideas and great links to other sites that will inspire reading in your family over the summer. Nothing beats getting lost in a book over the summer!
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6. Cooperation or Competition
By Wes Hopper
Joan Gustafson said, “The three things that I wish I’d learned earlier are – cooperation works better than competition, the world is full of friends I might not have met yet, and people actually love to help other people.” Can you imagine a world in which most people lived by those principles? Well, a surprising number of people do live that way, quietly and deliberately. And what Gustafson is tell us is that we can live like that, too. But it takes a decision on our part and we may have some work to do with our old beliefs, too.

How were you taught to expect the world to be? Was it a friendly place, a helpful place, a giving and forgiving place? Or was it “dog-eat-dog” and “every man for himself”? Psychology tells us that we notice things in life that confirm our beliefs. So, over time, they get stronger. If we’ve been brought up in some form of the “hostile world” story, then that’s what we’ve noticed.

Try this experiment – for one full day, notice every nice, helpful, positive, cooperative person or action that passes through your awareness. Start to see that as normal. Because it is! The more you notice, the more there will be to notice. You may be tested with a negative event or two along the way, but see them as the exceptions that they are.

After a while you’ll be like Joan Gustafson and wonder why you didn’t see this a long time ago. The world wants to help you. So let it!
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7. Five Food Suggestions for Keeping Kids at the Table
These five suggestions will keep children interested and involved at mealtime because they are involved in putting their meals together. All of these can be converted into vegetarian dishes by eliminating the meat or by using a vegetarian meat substitute.
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8. Summer Reading Ideas
Summer doesn’t have to mean taking a break from learning, especially when it comes to reading. Studies show that most students experience a loss of reading skills over the summer months, but children who continue to read actually gain skills. During the summer parents can help children sustain (and even bolster) reading skills, strengthen their vocabulary and reinforce the benefits of reading for enjoyment.
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9. Lessons from an 8th Grade Trip
Maggie Macaulay of Whole Hearted Parenting learned a great deal from her daughter’s 8th grade trip, and she wasn’t even there! Read more on the growth that happens – for adults, too – as children spread their wings!
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10. Inspirational Quote of the Week

“The three things that I wish I’d known when I started are – trust my intuition, always. Then be clear about my purpose and use it as a guide. Third, work from possibility, not probability. If I can think it, I just might be able to do it.” Paul Lemberg